Falls and Spills

Over the past few weeks I’ve had a few falls

Bruised my ribs and missed some close calls;

Hit my head on the floor, blood all over the place

Which left quite a livid scar at the top of my face.

Sadly, I wake up to pee around six times a night

But instead of returning to bed I switch on the light

And sit on the bedside to allow the pain to ooze

At which time I find myself starting to snooze.

It’s fine if in nod off and fall towards the wall

As there lie my pillows which then break my fall;

If I doze and fall backwards it’s onto my sack

Where I’m rudely awaked with a pain in the back.

However, when I drop off, literally, towards the right

The floor is the next stop on my short nocturnal flight;

Battered, braised and dazed I wonder: “What the fuck?”

How can one person be blessed with so much luck?

My problem you see, is a neurogenic bladder

A condition I can assure you that I would be gladder

To see the back of right now, before it’s too late
And I’m going steady with death as my date.